I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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