Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize