You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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