Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
