his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
