I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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