My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.