Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving

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  (513): some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving http://tfl.nu/s2es
  Replies (12) Good night (700) Bad night (2679)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero

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  (970): The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero http://tfl.nu/ssyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5597) Bad night (733)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.

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  (706): I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor. http://tfl.nu/s5q7
  Replies (21) Good night (2171) Bad night (4565)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.

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  (651): Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love. http://tfl.nu/7dfa
  Replies (15) Good night (6719) Bad night (1230)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  so how was last night?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.

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  (586): so how was last night? (1-586): got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages. http://tfl.nu/4xoa
  Replies (21) Good night (10580) Bad night (1353)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.

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  (403): Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me. http://tfl.nu/6qnx
  Replies (23) Good night (11545) Bad night (1363)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.

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  (314): He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is. http://tfl.nu/o2e4
  Replies (42) Good night (1335) Bad night (6713)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.

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  (636): It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference. http://tfl.nu/wkzw
  Replies (14) Good night (4496) Bad night (1024)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am

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  (724): I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed. (412): I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am http://tfl.nu/5n3j
  Replies (9) Good night (3023) Bad night (903)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.

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  (856): What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today. http://tfl.nu/ecb0
  Replies (4) Good night (1136) Bad night (630)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.

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  (678): You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes. http://tfl.nu/g0jp
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (758)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...

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  (904): And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept... http://tfl.nu/rhyx
  Replies (4) Good night (560) Bad night (341)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.

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  (913): I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile. http://tfl.nu/tk2z
  Replies (7) Good night (859) Bad night (551)
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  (916): View more from California

  My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol

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  (916): My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol http://tfl.nu/8ddh
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (197)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.

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  (904): There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone. http://tfl.nu/rh98
  Replies (3) Good night (298) Bad night (331)

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