I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.