Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise

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  (208): the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise http://tfl.nu/n0e5
  Replies (59) Good night (769) Bad night (8512)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.

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  (425): Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility. http://tfl.nu/j5r5
  Replies (14) Good night (2778) Bad night (531)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed

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  (503): I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed http://tfl.nu/wtld
  Replies (55) Good night (1056) Bad night (6361)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?

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  (410): I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this? http://tfl.nu/lrwi
  Replies (27) Good night (486) Bad night (4523)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.

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  (304): I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats. http://tfl.nu/8c7z
  Replies (9) Good night (879) Bad night (3811)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.

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  (412): I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is. http://tfl.nu/ejf0
  Replies (12) Good night (5120) Bad night (1297)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.

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  (801): He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick. http://tfl.nu/gyi3
  Replies (38) Good night (1047) Bad night (4608)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.

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  (443): Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed. http://tfl.nu/vazj
  Replies (8) Good night (2294) Bad night (1012)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me

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  (845): Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me http://tfl.nu/lgfh
  Replies (9) Good night (3146) Bad night (867)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.

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  (815): Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess. http://tfl.nu/3e7p
  Replies (13) Good night (2343) Bad night (1247)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.

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  (334): Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions. http://tfl.nu/wk8c
  Replies (1) Good night (1273) Bad night (648)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm at about main and main street

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  (630): I'm at about main and main street http://tfl.nu/my9q
  Replies (7) Good night (1736) Bad night (790)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.

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  (703): just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail. http://tfl.nu/7539
  Replies (6) Good night (1760) Bad night (676)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina

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  (917): I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina http://tfl.nu/n2kg
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (463)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?

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  (908): My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER? http://tfl.nu/z2jy
  Replies (3) Good night (396) Bad night (241)

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