Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/9lls
  Replies (8) Good night (565) Bad night (1573)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day. http://tfl.nu/o792
  Replies (24) Good night (4864) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life http://tfl.nu/pzmw
  Replies (67) Good night (5912) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks. http://tfl.nu/gf3t
  Replies (13) Good night (6128) Bad night (1314)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?

  (813): View more from Florida

  Nah, just masturbating louder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Is it weird being in the house without any roommates? (813): Nah, just masturbating louder http://tfl.nu/cjwy
  Replies (7) Good night (5400) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you http://tfl.nu/n46y
  Replies (13) Good night (5452) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud. http://tfl.nu/mlmc
  Replies (20) Good night (9012) Bad night (1429)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15 http://tfl.nu/scbj
  Replies (7) Good night (2596) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower http://tfl.nu/ye9z
  Replies (10) Good night (3433) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf. http://tfl.nu/98oh
  Replies (6) Good night (645) Bad night (2079)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have. http://tfl.nu/xov4
  Replies (9) Good night (1849) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great. http://tfl.nu/ao5x
  Replies (3) Good night (1278) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality. http://tfl.nu/6xy0
  Replies (6) Good night (1167) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk http://tfl.nu/qdf4
  Replies (1) Good night (920) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will http://tfl.nu/eboo
  Replies (4) Good night (956) Bad night (341)

Randomize