Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
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It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night