we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
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the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
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You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say