he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
