He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
