OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
