I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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