It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
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The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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