after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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