I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
