dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
