I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
