You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
