I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
