I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
