Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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