I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize