Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.

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(585): View more from New York

he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him

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(949): View more from California

we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds

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(319): View more from Iowa

Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow

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(408): View more from California

Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.

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(310): View more from California

Is cereal technically a soup?

(310): View more from California

Fuck, I'm high.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.

(734): View more from Michigan

I always knew youd fuck a cat lady

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