I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
And then he peed in my hair
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
