she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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