Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
honey bunches of taint.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
