You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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