ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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