I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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