If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
this boner is exhausting
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize