I must be too annoying 4 u.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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