ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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