Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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