fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
