Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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