i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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