Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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