I hate your face
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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