there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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