maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
