The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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