Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
