Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
my poor anus
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.