I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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