This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
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I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
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It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.