Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
