Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.