I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad