Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
