Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
