Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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