no you cant smoke seaweed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize