ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
