hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
