Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
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I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
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I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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