I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
