Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize