i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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