the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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