oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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