He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
