my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
