She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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