Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
