She's JV to your varsity
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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