shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
